Arara Encantada: One Thousand Ceremonies Did Not Prepare Me for This

Dear Reader,

I almost didn't write this. Not because I don't have words. But because some experiences ask us to remain silent long enough for language to become honest.

For weeks, I opened this document in my mind, wrote a paragraph, deleted it. Again, and again. How do you write about something that divided your life into a before and an after?

But then, I thought, there is something very radical about writing anything in AI times. So here I am… And I’ll do my best not to even run this through a grammar correction program, this is fully me, raw and ready to share what happened this year….

Before I start, let me re-introduce myself just in case you are reading this for the first time… I am a Brazilian mom of 2 living in Colorado at the moment. Have lived a thousand different lives in this one, as an environmental and human rights lawyer, activist, scientist… I am someone who has walked more 17 years alongside indigenous communities. I got fired from the nonprofit I was working with right after giving birth to my second child, which led me to found INSamaúma. But to be clear, INSamaúma wasn't born from anger — it was born from a revelation: that as an activist I brought people to see the issues of the rainforest, and that made people feel hopeless. But I wanted for people to act, to help! INSamaúma was then born to help people fall in love with the rainforest, because people in love take inspired crazy action!

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THE PART I NEVER TALKED ABOUT

If you follow me now you know I grew up in a church. Introduced to ayahuasca at seven. But I didn’t really had the guts to share that piece of my story up until very recent… I tried to calculate how many cups of ayahuasca I have had in this lifetime and it adds up to a little more than 1 thousand I can’t really say it. This is to really make sure you understand that the spiritual realm has always been present in my life — and yet something always felt missing. If I had to describe how I felt most of the time it was like a wild wolf trapped in a cage. Believe me, I have endless love and respect for the community that brought me into the spiritual world, but I did feel off and out of place. Years and years passed of trying to fit in and being asked on the sidelines if I would ever serve people this way, a question that outraged me. ME!? How? I cannot! Not because I didn't believe in the medicine, quite the opposite…Because I respected it, and also because of fear, loyalty, family, beliefs introduced to me it wasn’t my place…

WHEN THE VOICE GOT TOO LOUD TO IGNORE

But then 2025 I co-hosted a retreat that awoke something in me. A Voice in my bones so loud it became impossible to ignore. That’s when I decided, I would find an indigenous group of trust doing ayahuasca work and co-create something with them, this way it wasn’t me leading anything, right!? Little did I know what that would mean to my life.

WALKING TOWARD THE UNKNOWN

My processes are all about following my intuition. I literally asked one friend, who introduced me to Gustavo Mendes, a non-indigenous shaman in Brazil leading ayahuasca work, but coming from similar background as me. Gustavo was the one to gently introduce me to the Shawãdawa people from the Arara Encantada village, and in his words: they are a simple family doing unbelievable spiritual work. That was it. I was introduced to Tae, their leader, and from that, Arara Encantada was born. The mixture of fear, excitement, responsibility preparing this journey in a place I have never been was absurd. Having worked for so long in the Rainforest I knew what to expect logistically but I had no idea what was coming…

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THE PARTICIPANT WHO CHANGED EVERYTHING

During interviews and medical screenings, a Brazilian men reached out saying “I am going”. However, as he started explaining his medical conditions, my body screamed, oh, no. Hell no. I'm not taking you. But he was so sure and so convincing that he could do it that for some reason, I let him come, and now I know what reason that was. Logically it didn’t make sense but spirit had allowed it. I can see now he came not just to have his own awakening, but he came to support me in my awakening. I had no idea but he really held me.

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I THOUGHT I WAS LEADING A RETREAT

We sat in ceremony EVERY single day out of the 5 full days we were there… We prepared the medicine together, we went on a journey together and a portal opened up right in front of our eyes. I already shared that I've sat in well over a thousand ayahuasca ceremonies throughout my life, but my dear reader, nothing, absolutely nothing prepared me for what happened there. I expected to facilitate, but instead, spirit was facilitating me. Our circle became so tight we shared visions — same visions, real time, fifth dimension. The impossibility of it, I can’t even explain, and maybe I shouldn’t. The feeling that reality had become porous, and that we were in a different timeline together. Some stories are not mine to tell, some belong to the people who lived them, some to the forest so I won’t get into details here… What I can say is that in 37 years of experience with plant medicine I have never experienced anything like it. There was a me before this retreat. And a me after.

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COMING HOME

Integration is the word people talk, and most still miss the mark. Let’s just start by acknowledging, if you are having an experience with indigenous people DO NOT expect integration to happen. Because integration isn’t a thing for them. They are fully integrated to the medicine, that’s their life. You need to search for integration support – this is a must, from a non-indigenous guide. I integrated all participants who chose to, and I looked for external support for my personal integration. This has been a long and not so easy process I might say. Being in a position of leadership do not exempt me from doing the work, quite the opposite, doing the work is a MUST! But as a leader, I am able to support others while integrating myself. One thing you must know in my process: I never take people somewhere I haven't walked myself.

Since I’ve been back, I have been through a holocaust of emotions. I've shared some of it online. Some of you worried about me. Thank you. But I firmly believe a good spiritual leader is deeply human. You don't have to be perfect; you just have to be aware and always working on yourself… Believe me when I say: one thousand ceremonies is not too many. It is a lifetime of devotion.

WHY THIS JOURNEY CHANGED

I came back so excited I was ready to do another journey again right away, but this integration time showed me a simple truth, this is not a monthly retreat, not for lack of demand, quite the opposite. Discernment has showed me this is a portal I get to open once a year with few selected souls ready for their quantum jump. This is not for beginners, this is a portal, and initiation of its own kind, shaped for spiritual leaders ready to step into the 5^th dimension and really see all parts of themselves. Not because they are better than anyone, but because this particular doorway asks something different. This is for the ones who think they're awake — and are ready to discover what's still sleeping.

THE INVITATION

There are many ways to fall in love with the Amazon. Some people come simply to hear the forest breathe. Others come to remember who they are. Both journeys are sacred. And perhaps one day, when the timing is right, those paths become one.

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Come with me to the rainforest first just to fall in love. To sit around the fire with the community. To remember what it feels like to be truly alive. And when you're ready — come to see your beliefs melt and become something you never imagined. "Come with me to learn how to fly."

Until then, thank you for walking this part of the path with me.

With love,

Maíra Irigaray